Audience Induced Paralysis

Maybe the title of this post isn't properly chosen but it seems to depict the aliment I constantly get.  I seem to freeze when anyone else is around me- be it family, friend, or guest. I will not continue something I was in the middle of, I will not be productive in any true way, nor will I do pretty much anything other than sit there or piddle at the computer.  This affliction annoys the piss out of me. For when the house is completely empty I am the little engine that could, puttering left or right. Even when hubby is home I do not seem as maimed.  For instance our roommate is currently home, granted he hasn't been around much lately, thus my productiveness as of late has been up,  and he is to be moving out (still waiting on that) but knowing he is home I sit idle. One it is out of kindness for I know he works the evening shift so I try to keep the morning hours quiet and two it is due to my audience induced paralysis, for I know the moment I start something up he will come chattering away. 

It isn't as if I go stiff and incapable of moving but rather I lay in wayside in case something is needed of me. Even when my sister comes over as a surprise what ever I am doing stops completely until she is gone. Of course it doesn't seem wrong or bad when I say that for when I have company my full attention is upon them and treasuring time together. But this is my sister I see on a frequent basis so I should be able to complete task at hand while enjoying her company. No though I sit around just in case she or someone might need something. Quietly usually, almost meekly. 

I have improved though over the years with this ordeal. General house cleaning I will manage to do when others are out of sight. I do have to laugh at myself though for this shouldn't happen inside the walls of one's own home. Bad enough it has taken me a long time to endure being in my own back yard solo due to social anxiety. I seriously need to just take up residence on the side of a mountain living the hermit  life. It truly suits me.  Seriously! Plus if I get that urge I sometimes do for meeting people I can merely take a trip.  I am certain I would accomplish so much more that way . ~snickers~